I am a former White Collar Wife writing about my experience of recovery.

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     I began blogging on the subject of white collar wives after experiencing the devastating consequences of my, (former), husband's financial crime.  My goal was to reach other women who are suffering or have suffered as I did so that they wouldn't have to walk this dark and uncertain path alone. The blog also serves to educate the public regarding the stigma wives and families face as a result of guilt by association.  The truth is that wives and children are the FIRST victims of many white collar crimes as a result of the acute breach of trust and ensuing financial ruin that is brought upon them by a man whose primary obligation is to protect his family.  As a result of the positive response to my blog essays I created a private on-line support group, The Secret Lives of White Collar Wives.  The purpose of the group is to provide a safe and private place of acceptance and empowerment. Our community continues to grow both nationally as well as internationally.  Please contact me at lawlerlisa1@gmail.com for a private screening into the group. (A request made directly to the group page will not be accepted). 

     In addition to my advocacy work on behalf of white collar wives and families I have developed a lecture on ethics in the workplace. I urge all who are serious about compliance and risk to contact me for a compelling hour of "Truth and Consequences: Easy Money Isn't Easy" from a new voice with a new perspective on enforcement. Humans are vulnerable to many temptations and too often fail to consider the dire consequences one bad decision can have on their and their families lives. 

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Tuesday, November 17, 2015

THANKSGIVING...

(From November, 2013)

Blessings?

     It's Thanksgiving and you might be wondering what in the world you have to be thankful for given the state of your life as it is now. This holiday that once held such meaning for you may now be nothing more than a reminder of the happy, cohesive family you once were. But there are blessings around you if you choose to open your heart to them. 

     Now is the time to realize and accept that the little things in life really are the BIG things. Perception is everything. Yes, you and your family are in a tough place living what may seem like a never ending nightmare, but take a break from it. Yes, I said it. Take a break from it. You and your children deserve a holiday of giving and receiving just like everyone else. Set a nice table for your family even if your holiday meal is nothing more than chicken nuggets and boxed potatoes. Whatever you serve on your table this Thanksgiving doesn't matter. It's being with family, (whether blood or chosen), and taking pride in the fact that you're still standing. Give yourself permission to take the day off from the stress and worry that white collar wives experience on a daily basis. The day after Thanksgiving will come and the messes of your life will still be there waiting for you. But instead of waking up the day after Thanksgiving and embracing your sad, fearful and anxiety ridden reality, why not instead embrace a new way of dealing with your circumstances? What if you decided that enough is enough? What would that look like? What would that FEEL like? Try it on. Take on a powerful stance. Take control back! Just because you are a victim doesn't mean you have to behave like one. Do whatever it is you need to do to begin to take your life back from the white collar crime machine that has taken control over you. You are bold. I know you are because you've made it this far and cared enough about your wellbeing to seek out this blog. Take back your life because if you don't, another Thanksgiving will roll around and you'll still be frightened. You'll still be shocked. You'll still be sad. And as the years roll on this will be how you live your life.  Is that really what you want? I know it's not. So, put the past where it belongs and don't look back.  There's nothing for you back there anyway. And try not to look too far forward either because that can also be too overwhelming and depressing.  Instead, live in the moment because we can only live one day at a time anyway and soon all of your everyday moments will blend together to create your new way of being, within yourself and in the world. It's not going to be easy but why make it more difficult by wallowing in self-pity? EVERYDAY try to work toward a new life. A better life. For you and your children. Decide that that's what you are gong to do and then go and do it.  It's a long and hard road to find your way out but you can get there if you try. And we can help you if you let us. The White Collar Wives Club awaits you, all you have to do is reach out and you will find a caring community of others who have been where you are now. Don't walk this road alone. Contact me at lawlerlisa1@gmail.com for information about becoming a member. 

I'm thinking of you as we begin this holiday season. I know this is not the life you want but it is the life you have now. Make the best of it and the rest will follow. Now is the time to count your blessings instead of your losses and may you and your family have a very Happy Thanksgiving. 

You are not alone! 

-Lisa