I am a former White Collar Wife writing about my experience of recovery.

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     I began blogging on the subject of white collar wives after experiencing the devastating consequences of my, (former), husband's financial crime.  My goal was to reach other women who are suffering or have suffered as I did so that they wouldn't have to walk this dark and uncertain path alone. The blog also serves to educate the public regarding the stigma wives and families face as a result of guilt by association.  The truth is that wives and children are the FIRST victims of many white collar crimes as a result of the acute breach of trust and ensuing financial ruin that is brought upon them by a man whose primary obligation is to protect his family.  As a result of the positive response to my blog essays I created a private on-line support group, The Secret Lives of White Collar Wives.  The purpose of the group is to provide a safe and private place of acceptance and empowerment. Our community continues to grow both nationally as well as internationally.  Please contact me at lawlerlisa1@gmail.com for a private screening into the group. (A request made directly to the group page will not be accepted). 

     In addition to my advocacy work on behalf of white collar wives and families I have developed a lecture on ethics in the workplace. I urge all who are serious about compliance and risk to contact me for a compelling hour of "Truth and Consequences: Easy Money Isn't Easy" from a new voice with a new perspective on enforcement. Humans are vulnerable to many temptations and too often fail to consider the dire consequences one bad decision can have on their and their families lives. 

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Thursday, October 16, 2014

WHITE COLLAR CRIME AND INNOCENT SPOUSE PART II

     Yesterday I filed no papers with the MA DOR. Instead I wrote a very stern letter explaining my reasoning for not wanting to file an application for hardship to pay and that I intended to take the matter to court. Applying for hardship to pay indicates that I acknowledge that I have a responsibility to pay when I do not.  To now have to be liable for embezzled funds I knew nothing about and that afforded me no enhancement but rather only pain and suffering for my son and I just adds insult to injury. They should instead direct their billing to my ex-husband's former girlfriend who benefited greatly as I came to understand.  In fact the only good thing that came out of this mess was that my then husband was jolted awake enough to be able to get out from under the grasp of his former gold-digging girlfriend who left nothing but wreckage in her path as far as our family was concerned. (I've never spoken publicly about her out of respect for myself and my son but think it's fitting to include her now. If I could sue her I would.)  But I digress. I also requested an extension from the DOR to resolve this matter as I was only given a matter of days to either pay "my half" of $464,000 or make an arrangement to pay. The response I received was immediate. I was told to complete an abatement form which they must receive today. When I explained that I had done my due diligence three years ago in filing all innocent spouse forms I was told, "that was three years ago. Things have now changed." What did that mean? They could not say. As if it were any of my business. So today I will RE-FILE my paperwork in hopes that someone at the MA DOR has their wits about them. There is not even the slightest inkling that I knew of or had anything whatsoever to do with my husband's crime. The forensic accountants/investigators found no shred of evidence where I am concerned or they would have hauled me into jail along with my husband. Does the MA DOR not believe the Attorney General's office or have faith in their capabilities? 

     I will take this matter to the highest court to clear my name with the MA DOR and rid myself of this horrendous harassment once and for all. White collar wives have enough on our plates to last a lifetime, (literally), in trying to dig out from the fallout of what has happened to our and our children's lives. My ex-husband is extremely remorseful and is struggling to rebuild his life, his self-esteem, his relationship with our son and will have to live with the grave damage he has caused all of us for the remainder of his life. He knows the hell he has put his family through and in seeing the toll it continues to take on us is at times unbearable for him. Understandably. There are mistakes and then there are the hammer of hell mistakes. The former can often be remedied. Sadly, for the latter, there is none.  


     To anyone who is contemplating committing an illegal financial act, think again. There is nothing that money can buy that is worth having to deal with the consequences of being caught. It does nothing but create a lifetime of heartaches, headaches, loss of dignity, loss of sanity and familial and financial ruin.  

Wish me luck. I'll certainly need it.