I am a former White Collar Wife writing about my experience of recovery.

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     I began blogging on the subject of white collar wives after experiencing the devastating consequences of my, (former), husband's financial crime.  My goal was to reach other women who are suffering or have suffered as I did so that they wouldn't have to walk this dark and uncertain path alone. The blog also serves to educate the public regarding the stigma wives and families face as a result of guilt by association.  The truth is that wives and children are the FIRST victims of many white collar crimes as a result of the acute breach of trust and ensuing financial ruin that is brought upon them by a man whose primary obligation is to protect his family.  As a result of the positive response to my blog essays I created a private on-line support group, The Secret Lives of White Collar Wives.  The purpose of the group is to provide a safe and private place of acceptance and empowerment. Our community continues to grow both nationally as well as internationally.  Please contact me at lawlerlisa1@gmail.com for a private screening into the group. (A request made directly to the group page will not be accepted). 

     In addition to my advocacy work on behalf of white collar wives and families I have developed a lecture on ethics in the workplace. I urge all who are serious about compliance and risk to contact me for a compelling hour of "Truth and Consequences: Easy Money Isn't Easy" from a new voice with a new perspective on enforcement. Humans are vulnerable to many temptations and too often fail to consider the dire consequences one bad decision can have on their and their families lives. 

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Sunday, September 28, 2014

CAUGHT IN THE CROSSFIRE!

I'm dedicating my next few blogs to the brave women in my group, The Secret Lives of White Collar Wives, who have volunteered to write short essays recollecting their first horrific encounters with the long arm of the law. I want to thank them for their candor and their contribution. But mostly I want to thank them for just getting out of bed in the morning and caring for themselves, their children and in many cases, their incarcerated husbands. I hope these glimpses into the lives of white collar wives will paint a broader picture of the women and children who are the primary victims of white collar crime. 

 

THEY TOOK EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE, INCLUDING MY HUSBAND!


Elizabeth's Story:

How do I even start this? I remember that day like a bad dream. It is locked into my memory as well as my kids and my husband's. It was the day it all started. I just dropped my older kids off at school when i got pulled over..I thought for no seat belt! The man asked me where my husband was and if he had a gun. No why? He is asleep..do u need my license and registration? "NO. Get out of this car and into ours..its safe to go back home we will drive you" What?? We pulled in and my two babies were in the play room, there were range rovers everywhere, my husband in his pajamas in handcuffs at the dining room table. Whats happening?? He said, "Just call the lawyer it will be okay". Furniture , kids clothes, their beds, my ring, my daughters piano, my car..everything being loaded up on moving trucks..it's freezing rain ..i have to walk with my babies in their stroller almost 2 miles to school...to pick up the older kids...where's the car mom? It's so cold it's sleeting. The teachers asked if I was okay and I smile yes I'm fine thank you...as I lie...all those people in my house no one could give me a ride to pick up my kids?? I ask to go to their rooms to get them dry clothes and let them use the bathroom...an agent follows them to the bathroom to watch them go...as if my kids were hiding something? My kids still have nightmares about that. The police arrived at our house at 7am and left my home at 11pm and took everything inside of it, including my husband. Fast forward, the night before he had to leave he sat the  kids down and told them he loved them, that he won't be home for many years and would do anything to be able to stay with them and tuck them in every night as always. We all cried til we all fell asleep in our bed. At 5:30 am we get in the car and drive 7 hrs to NJ, Fort Dix, my oldest son at that time in 1st grade cried so hard he couldn't go to school...on the drive home it rained so hard it took me over 9 hrs to get home. I died that day. I tucked my kids in, covered them up, kissed them all and climbed into bed alone for the first time in 18 years. I fell asleep on his side of the bed and didn't get up for 2 days..and so my new life alone began..