THE PERILS OF PERFORMANCE OVER PROCEDURE

____________________________________________

  

      There's a lot of buzz these days about corporate compliance and deterrence.  Everyone is either writing about it, reading about it or scrambling to hire a compliance officer to help them stay on the right side of the law.  Why all the hullabaloo?  Because seven years after the crash too many corporations continue to operate without a moral compass and are utilizing the No Questions Asked, (NQA), business model to gain even greater financial success.  Equally alarming is the general public doesn't seem to have a problem with it. And why should they because as long as the supply and demand chain isn't broken everyone gets along just fine. Results are really all anyone cares about anyway. 

 

    Human kind has always operated on a results driven basis.  First, long ago, as a means of survival as in if you work hard to gather food you will eat and live to see another day. Today, according to the Urban Dictionary, results driven means, "...relating to a form of corporate strategy focused on outcomes and achievements..... and holds performance to be more important than procedures."  And therein lies the problem. Too many are dismissing proper procedure in favor of performance to not only maintain a competitive edge but to go far beyond.    It's a given that competition in the workplace continues to ramp up as there are only so many dollars to be acquired in both the emerging markets as well as in the established marketplace. But the new super aggressive model of business as usual means that companies are willing to put themselves and their workers at extreme risk to excel at any cost.  But where do ethics fit in when this model is accepted?   When ethical behavior gets tossed out of the c-suite it's a slippery slope toward perverse incentives becoming the order of the day. When these incentives are either covertly or openly encouraged as a means to an end then open market competition becomes nothing short of a blood sport.  

 

     Whatever lessons were learned post crash, (we did learn that the bailouts of 2008 were nothing more than green lights for permission to proceed with business as usual), they have been short lived.  Profit driven risk is a given in today's highly competitive race to place but ladies and gentlemen the game has changed because the risks of doing business in a global market in a recovering and growing economy have increased exponentially.    Corporations are modern day gladiators who will fight to the the death for survival and gain using any means possible.  In many cases they will feed their young to the lions. You or a loved one may be facing risks in your workplace that you had no idea existed.  Corporations have little to lose and everything to gain by utilizing hard core results driven tactics that encourage unethical and illegal business practices and one must "go along to get along" in order to keep an income flowing to support themselves and or their families .  But individuals have everything to lose when undertaking dangerous risks on behalf of their employers. As a former white collar wife I take great offense to the current corporate climate that puts workers and families at great risk for the greater good of the company.    

         

       The motivation(s) to perform outside of proper procedure are similar for both the lone actor and the corporation.  Each has the same method of operation for getting ahead at any cost for their own benefit caring little about the consequence to self or others. However this similarity stops at the point of risk and the ability to absorb high risk consequences. Most corporations have contingency plans in place for any number of risks and in many cases they also enjoy the perks of DPAs, (Deferred Prosecution Agreements), and NPAs, (Non-Prosecution Agreements), in the event they have to tango with the Feds. The Feds can't put an entire corporation in prison but they can levy hefty fines.  These agreements and fines are served up under the guise of justice.  It's a win win scenario for all concerned. Although heavily fined, corporations can continue to operate while the Feds rake in billions of dollars in settlement fees.  With ample funds to cover these settlements corporations only have to endure the sting and embarrassment of their actions ever so briefly as the public has a short attention span and will look the other way in order to be able to continue to get the service/product they want without interruption.  A small bruise on reputation is not enough to deter a loyal customer.  Too big to fail corporations  embrace this predictable behavior and incorporate them into their risk assessment plans.  In American culture corporations do not lose customers unless a large portion of the population is directly affected in a negative way such as direct liability mass poisoning!!  Most large financial institutions are safe because they are now required to keep capital reserves high in order to offset the risk acute loss poses to the economy at large, thus they have a well planned and paid for safety net.  The public tends to reach angry mob status with banks but they are not angry enough to take their business elsewhere so there is also the built in lazy depositor to fall back on come time for risk assessment.  And finally, large corporations and financial institutions have deep pockets to hire the best defense teams and public relations firms money can buy to help them safely navigate through such troubled waters. 

 

     So how can the lone fraudster protect himself? He can't. Individual actors have no safety net.  In fact most lone actors perform fraud without ever fully considering the consequences.  Wouldn't it be nice if an individual who has committed a financial crime could be offered the same DPA as that of a large corporation?  Deferred prosecution agreements are rarely offered to those that act alone.  Unlike the corporation, more often than not lone actors lose everything as a result of their fraudulent behavior.  The cost benefit ratio a corporation might analyze is far different from that of an individual's assessment of risk for the individual risks nothing short of total annihilation of self, family and sovereignty and his actions will forever strip him of his reputation both professionally as well as personally. Worst of all, his family will be left in acute destitution and displacement. What on earth could possibly be worth risking every aspect of a life worth living?

 

     So as the conversation continues regarding compliance and operational risk management I urge compliance officers, (as well as individuals),  to begin to asses risk not only on a monetary scale but on a personal scale as well.  Corporations are made up of people. People who make decisions regarding risk and how to manage those risks and people who perform on behalf of the corporation. Enforcement of compliance to procedure over performance must be held above all else. It is a given that employees have an obligation to their employers to perform to the best of their abilities on behalf of the corporation. But corporations have an obligation not to place employees and their families at risk for the betterment of the corporation. 

 

     Overall, corporate America has been a very bad role model  for the modern day executive and small businesses by setting the tone that corruption pays and pays big.  If you are a risk manager or compliance officer in need of an aggressive approach to operational risk management please contact me.  As a former white collar wife and founder/ facilitator of The White Collar Wives Club I can vividly illustrate the horrific real life consequences families endure as a result of fraudulent corporate behavior and can offer a clear path to deterrence that guarantees results. 

 

Lisa Lawler

The White Collar Wives Project

lawlerlisa1@gmail.com 

 

 

THANKSGIVING...

(From November, 2013)

Blessings?

     It's Thanksgiving and you might be wondering what in the world you have to be thankful for given the state of your life as it is now. This holiday that once held such meaning for you may now be nothing more than a reminder of the happy, cohesive family you once were. But there are blessings around you if you choose to open your heart to them. 

     Now is the time to realize and accept that the little things in life really are the BIG things. Perception is everything. Yes, you and your family are in a tough place living what may seem like a never ending nightmare, but take a break from it. Yes, I said it. Take a break from it. You and your children deserve a holiday of giving and receiving just like everyone else. Set a nice table for your family even if your holiday meal is nothing more than chicken nuggets and boxed potatoes. Whatever you serve on your table this Thanksgiving doesn't matter. It's being with family, (whether blood or chosen), and taking pride in the fact that you're still standing. Give yourself permission to take the day off from the stress and worry that white collar wives experience on a daily basis. The day after Thanksgiving will come and the messes of your life will still be there waiting for you. But instead of waking up the day after Thanksgiving and embracing your sad, fearful and anxiety ridden reality, why not instead embrace a new way of dealing with your circumstances? What if you decided that enough is enough? What would that look like? What would that FEEL like? Try it on. Take on a powerful stance. Take control back! Just because you are a victim doesn't mean you have to behave like one. Do whatever it is you need to do to begin to take your life back from the white collar crime machine that has taken control over you. You are bold. I know you are because you've made it this far and cared enough about your wellbeing to seek out this blog. Take back your life because if you don't, another Thanksgiving will roll around and you'll still be frightened. You'll still be shocked. You'll still be sad. And as the years roll on this will be how you live your life.  Is that really what you want? I know it's not. So, put the past where it belongs and don't look back.  There's nothing for you back there anyway. And try not to look too far forward either because that can also be too overwhelming and depressing.  Instead, live in the moment because we can only live one day at a time anyway and soon all of your everyday moments will blend together to create your new way of being, within yourself and in the world. It's not going to be easy but why make it more difficult by wallowing in self-pity? EVERYDAY try to work toward a new life. A better life. For you and your children. Decide that that's what you are gong to do and then go and do it.  It's a long and hard road to find your way out but you can get there if you try. And we can help you if you let us. The White Collar Wives Club awaits you, all you have to do is reach out and you will find a caring community of others who have been where you are now. Don't walk this road alone. Contact me at lawlerlisa1@gmail.com for information about becoming a member. 

I'm thinking of you as we begin this holiday season. I know this is not the life you want but it is the life you have now. Make the best of it and the rest will follow. Now is the time to count your blessings instead of your losses and may you and your family have a very Happy Thanksgiving. 

You are not alone! 

-Lisa

  

THE SECRET LIVES OF WHITE COLLAR WIVES

Build It And They Will Come

     It's been a little over a year since I began the Facebook group, The Secret Lives of White Collar Wives. It has taken time and much hard, (but rewarding), work to obtain a searchable presence on Google and elsewhere on the internet where women can find me and finally receive the support they have desperately been looking for. As they say, "build it and they will come". And come, they have. I have been able to make my vision of establishing a supportive community of white collar wives a reality.

     The first thing I usually hear from the women who reach out to me is this: "For years I searched the internet looking for some kind of support  but found nothing. I felt so alone. Lisa, I'm so glad to have found you and this group." There was a time when I too was afraid and alone and desperately wanted to find other white collar wives to share this horrific experience with but found nothing. I knew there were many women like me who were/are too afraid and ashamed to surface so I went in search of them and we are finally connecting. I am so grateful for the brave women who have come out of hiding because without them I too would be alone in my experience of recovery.

     Being in a community of other white collar wives means that we can finally lessen the load of family and friends who have walked this long path with us.  We have a place now where we can lay our burdens at the feet of others who know what it means to be a white collar wife/ex-wife. When asked by "civilians", "how are you doing?", there finally comes a time when we simply must put on a happy face and say, "fine, thanks for asking" while suffering in silence because to burden others with our constant stress and worry is asking too much of them. The wheels of justice turn oh so slowly and the process of recovery takes years, (if ever), and it becomes difficult to not only continue to ask for help from family and friends but to have them bear painful witness to our ongoing plight. To have a community of women who truly understand, do not judge, offer support and words of wisdom in a safe environment who are always there 24/7 is perhaps as therapeutic an environment as one could ask for. Peer support is vital in coping with and recovering from acute trauma no matter what the subject matter.  

     Before entering our group I perform a quick interview to authenticate that the woman I'm speaking with is actually a white collar wife as we are understandably a bit paranoid.  I can identify a fellow survivor even before I begin the formal process of gaining the merits of her husband's case simply by the language she uses.  Takes one to know one. Every time I speak with a potential member I hear yet another grim tale of a family being disrupted and in many cases dismembered not only by the criminal conduct of her husband but the painful experiences most of us have endured of guilt by association; both legally as well as socially. Some of the women in the group are in the beginning stages of dealing with the great unknown of the investigative process while others are in the thick of it, neck deep in the legal throws of did he or didn't he?, (mostly, he did), or just beginning, in the middle of or ending the incarceration phase.  Some women are long past the events that led to the incarceration of their husbands and now feel the need to poke the last burning embers of their former lives that are still hot to the touch in hopes of rekindling them, if only for a moment with those who understand. As a writer, speaker, life coach, mentor, and group facilitator, (I have also facilitated groups of women who were enduring or recovering from domestic violence), I understand how vital peer support is. Hiding ourselves within our own grim history is understandable however there can be no healing without an affirmation that "this is what happened and this is what it's done to me/my family, my soul, my life. Some of the women's circumstances are more horrific than others but each is compelling and the end result the same in that families and finances are obliterated and husbands go off to prison as wives and children hide in the shadows, broken and alone to pick up the pieces of their mangled lives.  There really are monsters hiding under the bed and that it turns out to be daddy is as chilling as it is heartbreaking.

     In sharing our fragmented lives we are able to clean out the dark places and let a bit of light in.  As the esteemed songwriter/performer LEONARD COHEN wrote in "Anthem": There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in."  If you
are now or at some point were a white collar wife, you are indeed cracked and in much need of light.  If you don't seek help, likely none will find you. The peer group model is truly effective and I encourage all white collar wives to seek help in this supportive and healing community. 

  If you would like to receive more information about the group or private mentoring information  please contact me at lawlerlisa1@gmail.com for an interview. 

You are not alone. 

-Lisa Lawler




   
    

    

DIVORCE AND WHITE COLLAR WIVES

 

(This is a repost of a blog piece from last year)

 

Should You Divorce Your White Collar Criminal Husband?

 

     To Divorce or not to divorce? That is the question. Statistics say that most marriages do not survive the heartbreak and fallout of white collar crime. Especially if there is a prison sentence longer than five years. 

 

     When a spouse commits financial fraud it is not only an egregious act against the victim(s) but it is also an epic betrayal of trust, responsibility, caring and protection of a marriage. Without these basic traits in a marriage, (or in a family), there cannot be real love. While it's true that some white collar criminals have mental illnesses of one sort or another which informs their inexplicable behavior,  most criminals do what they do because they have the opportunity, motivation and lack a true moral compass.  As such, one of the most pressing questions I had after learning of my husband's criminal act was this: Did he think of his family and risk our lives anyway? Or, did he simply not consider us at all? I've never been able to get an answer to that question and probably never will, but either way it's been a lose-lose scenario for me and my son. 

 

     I was married to my husband for twenty six years. We had known one another since we were in our teens and although our relationship wasn't perfect  we always thought we'd grow old together. We had been through the usual ups and downs that any marriage might experience but as we grew older and despite having an incredibly blessed and full life my husband decided that having everything he ever dreamed of was not going to be enough for him.  The more he pushed all that was important in his life aside, (in favor of a flashy sports car and one very sorry excuse for a girlfriend who took full advantage of his financial generosity), the more he sealed our fate.  Our marriage vows ask us to promise to "love one another for better or worse, in sickness and in health." But those vows don't ask us to lay down and die a thousand deaths because our spouse chose to toss us off a cliff. I truly believe that white collar crime is a form of domestic abuse/terrorism and that it should be treated as such. I didn't want my marriage to end in divorce however I feel as if I had no other choice.  Not only was my husband an embezzler, he also had a fully secret life outside of his marriage.  When all was revealed to me, reluctantly, I knew that I could never trust my husband again.  I'm not advocating that all women run out and divorce their white collar husbands and I'm not suggesting that all men who commit financial fraud have girlfriends.  I believe most marriages can survive infidelity, however  I do not believe that most marriages can survive betrayal on this kind of an epic scale. 

 

     There are many women who do choose to stand with their incarcerated husband. Out of fear? Duty? Compassion? I hear of women moving themselves and their children across the country to be with their husbands who have been moved from one prison designation to another, time after time. I have very fixed ideas about women who do this.  In their minds they think they are doing what is best for the family and keeping face time going between a child and his/her father and her with her husband is essential.  But the reality is, (especially in long term incarceration), making that kind of sacrifice for someone that has treated their spouse and their own children so carelessly, in my opinion, doesn't deserve that kind of attention.  There is standing by your man and then there's giving up your life for someone who showed total disregard for your life and the lives of your children.  Is that love? Not by any definition that I know of. I believe in compassion and sacrifice but only for those who are truly deserving.  

 

      All I am trying to impart here is that it's time for you to think of yourself and your children and to no longer feel an obligation to someone who felt no obligation to you or his family at the time of his crime. I know it's a very complicated situation but broken down into it's most critical parts, you know the truth. And only you can know what it is you can overcome.  You will have to search your soul and decide for yourself. The road is long and difficult with or without your spouse by your side but you are stronger than you know and you can stand on your own two feet. Look how far you've come now?

 

     In closing I want to tell you that there was a time after my own divorce, (it was and remains a very painful decision on my part), that I didn't believe in happily ever after. But I was raw then and the idea of falling in love again seemed so remote. Seven years later I remain single, (by choice),  and I am okay with that. I know love is all around us and it's there for us if we want to try again. But most importantly, I know now what a truly healthy relationship looks like and I wish that there were more of them. It makes me happy to see a couple in love. It gives me hope. 

 

You are not alone. I'm here. Always.

-Lisa

INNOCENT SPOUSES AND ASSET FORFEITURE/SEIZURE

White Collar Crime: Guilty Until Proven Guilty  


     As Americans we like to believe we live in a free and civil society.  This is easy to do because we don't struggle under oppression or have to endure the fearful weight of a radical regime or brutal dictatorship. We are a society governed by laws that protect us under a Constitution of our own making. In fact, these laws were designed specifically for the purpose of protecting us against unjust actions from our own government. But take a closer look into our free and civil society and you might not like what you see. Too often the laws that are supposed to protect us become twisted and turn into something that not only does not provide protection for it's citizens but allows the government to tilt the scales for it's own benefit.


     Case in point, asset forfeiture/seizure. Asset seizure was once a useful tool for getting tainted drug money off the streets and for recovering lost assets for victims of crime. However, this practice has now become an asset to local police departments to fill their coffers to buy new equipment and boost salaries. It is not unusual for a kick back situation to occur where a police entity will split the spoils with another jurisdiction. A small percent of the recovered assets may find their way to victims but this is not monitored closely. And in the event an accused is found innocent it is quite costly and next to impossible to have the seized items or their value returned. Asset forfeiture without due process is nothing more than state sanctioned theft.

(This according to he ACLU:)

Civil Asset Forfeiture

"Every year, federal and state law enforcement agents seize millions of dollars from civilians during traffic stops, simply by asserting that they believe the money is connected to some illegal activity and without ever pursuing criminal charges. Under federal law and the laws of most states, they are entitled to keep most (and sometimes all) of the money and property they seize.
 ..... In many jurisdictions, the money can go to pay for salaries, advanced equipment and other perks. When salaries and perks are on the line, officers have a strong incentive to increase the seizures, as evidenced by an increase in the regularity and size of such seizures in recent years. .....the arcane process of trying to get one’s property back is an expensive challenge.  ACLU believes that such routine “civil asset forfeiture” puts our civil liberties and property rights under assault, and calls for reform of state and federal civil asset forfeiture laws."

        

       We were all raised on the premise that an accused is innocent until proven guilty.  The example above from the ACLU let's us know that this is in fact a fallacy. And it gets worse. Due process is a thing of the past because the United States Supreme Court has determined that a grand jury indictment is akin to a guilty verdict. (See Kaley v. United States). According to the highest court in the land a grand jury indictment, (formerly known as probable cause), is enough to trigger the ungodly act of asset forfeiture/seizure. Without assets an accused loses his fifth amendment right to counsel of his choice which also violates the due process clause of the sixth amendment. It's like cutting off an accused arms and legs and then asking them to swim to shore. The grand jury was originally put in place so that no accused would be prosecuted without a finding of probable cause first. Should this basic right then be turned into an opportunity to rob a man and his family blind?  When the government deprives one of all monetary assets it not only takes away the accused right to hire counsel of his choice, (as he can now not afford  knowledgeable representation),  but has also deprived a highly trained attorney the opportunity to represent an accused who could, absent asset forfeiture/seizure pay for such representation. Defendants are instead appointed counsel that likely have no experience in white collar criminal defense which further deprives an accused of a truly fair and just outcome. 

     As a law abiding citizen of the United States of America I take extreme offense to the fact that our government has overstepped it's bounds with unfair asset forfeiture.  Who has decided that ALL assets are to be taken into custody before a finding of guilt when restitution designations have not even been assigned? And WHO DECIDED THAT IT WAS OKAY TO TAKE AWAY EVERYTHING BELONGING TO INNOCENT SPOUSES AND CHILDREN LEAVING THEM DESTITUTE? White collar wives and families are the first victims of this kind of crime yet they continue to be treated as a party to the crime. Guilt by association is no reason to strip a wife and children of their belongings. A free and civil society? A Constitution that is supposed to serve and protect us from unjust actions against us by our own government? I urge my readers to seek out Kaley v. United States and the resulting dissents and if this does not cause you acute concern then may God help you. 

     As an advocate for white collar wives and families I've heard too many horrific accounts of the feds knocking on doors in the predawn hours awaking children out of a dead sleep and terrorizing entire families all based upon a grand jury indictment of PROBABLE cause. I know of one case, (there are probably dozens), where an innocent spouse was handcuffed along with her husband for no other reason than to make sure she didn't interfere with her husband's arrest or the confiscation of all of their belongings. THESE ARE NON VIOLENT CRIMES committed mostly by upper middle class men. Where is the danger? Why the need to brutalize and traumatize an innocent spouse and her children? This kind of behavior by the police is revolting and obscene. The accused will have his day in court and be punished accordingly, and rightly so. But why must innocent wives and children be punished as well?   To not be given the opportunity to distinguish what property "is guilty" before everything is hauled off without as much as a crumb left behind just like the Grinch who stole Christmas, is not only heartbreaking but is nothing short of theft. The blind assumption that all property is "guilty" doesn't make it true.

     Innocent spouses and families suffer in the extreme both at the hands of a spouse they trusted and at the hands of a government that is bound by law to to serve and protect them. I ask you...where is the justice? 

For more information on asset forfeiture please visit:
Forfeiture Endangers American Rights FOUNDATION (FEAR)


    

The White Collar Wives Club Blog Returns....

Apologies to those who follow my blog and have found this space blank for the past month.  I've been busy developing The White Collar Wives Project website which will serve as a clearinghouse to provide resources, support and information on all things related to white collar crime and the adverse affects it has on the first victims, families. Additionally, there is a companion face book page for The White Collar Wives Project which is a public forum where all are welcome to participate. Please join the conversation.

New blogs to resume here next week.

Thank you for your interest and thoughtful responses. Innocent spouses and families deserve your support.

THE NEW NORMAL

     Being a white collar wife means that you are constantly readjusting your life to accommodate the ever changing landscape of everyday living within the confines of what I call, "the white collar crime machine".  Each stage of the process, (and it is a very long process), brings with it new challenges. In the beginning you must endure the excruciating wait as the slow wheels of justice can take years just to get to the indictment phase.  Then there is the constant wonder of how long your husband's sentence will be. What will become of your family while he's away? Can your marriage survive a long separation, especially under such dire circumstances? How will you live without your loved one emotionally as well as financially? Why did this happen? How could he do this? How will my children survive the sins of their father? There are no easy answers for any of these questions but every step of the way wives must keep the faith that all is not lost. They must also learn to normalize a very abnormal and fluid existence for the sake of their family.

      Most living organisms learn to adapt to their ever changing environment no matter how inhospitable as a means of survival. White collar wives are no different. It's hard enough to have to adapt to the expected gradual changes of life but white collar wives must adjust to frequent and nearly uninhabitable shifts in their lives without warning. With each shift comes more normalizing as they must right their ship with every pounding wave that threatens to send their family to the bottom of the sea. The struggle to stay upright is as constant as it is brutal. It is financially and emotionally draining on all family members. What once was an existence of comfort and security and the ability to depend on a future of "normal shifts" has now become a never ending nightmare that you can never awake from. Each phase of the white collar crime machine brings with it another set of seemingly insurmountable circumstances that must be dealt with and normalized. As each phase becomes a part of your life it gets blended into all of the other parts that have come before it. This then becomes "the new normal" which really is nothing more than an unrecognizable mess you now call your life. 

     Most white collar wives have become adept at the legal process and our knowledge could rival any trained paralegal on the planet. From grand juries to plea deals to prison protocol, white collar wives are experts in their decidedly unchosen field of study. But that and a dime won't buy us a cup of coffee. This knowledge does, however, help other white collar wives who are new to the white collar crime machine and is shared in The Secret Lives of White Collar Wives. This closed face book group continues to grow in number and the supportive nature of the group helps white collar wives to no longer feel alone.


     There are thousands of white collar wives in need of support all over the world. I know this because I hear from them regularly. White collar crime isn't something that one deals with and then it is gone. It is a life sentence for every family member of just getting through to the next phase and then living with the aftermath for the rest of your life. There is no escape. There is only the next new normal.